The How-To Guide on Working with People You Dislike

It has happened to all of us--we have been stuck in a group with that ONE person that makes us so angry we could yell.  Somehow, we have all survived those experiences with varying levels of injury.  As anyone who works in a professional setting will tell you, you will always have to work with someone that you cannot stand.  Here are a few pointers that I have found useful to myself when I am put in these situations.

The One Who Won't Pull His/Her Weight

I think I find this situation the worst.  I am always of the opinion that "if you are not going to try, then why are you even here?"  This kind of person is dead weight on the team--you can ask him/her to fulfill a task, but there is no guarantee that it will be completed or completed to an acceptable level.

Fill the Void Yourself

I know this is not a solution that anyone wants to hear, but it is the honest truth.  If you have a dead-weight, then it is still your team's responsibility to get all elements together for the project.  Sometimes, this means that you have to bite the bullet yourself and do the part that the dead-weight will not do.

There is one bonus to this outcome.  (Hard to believe, I know.)  Your professor/boss will be able to detect the dead-weight in the group very quickly.  The person who did not complete their part is easily detectable.  If it is a written paper, a professor will be able to read it and know that it is all in one voice.  Presentations are a chance for the biggest red flags to pop up.  If there are gaps in a person's knowledge, it is going to be blatant when someone is standing in front of the class with very few things to say.

Let the Gaps Stay Present

Sometimes you are under too much stress to do anything than your initially assigned part.  In these cases, you have to let the chips fall where they may.  Sometimes one must "suck it up" and let it just happen.  If the parts were assigned by your professor, he or she will know exactly who did and did not fulfill the necessary obligations to fulfill the project's specifications.

This is not my first suggestion, especially if the parts were not specifically assigned to each person.  The professor may think that you or your group forgot an essential part of the assignment.  This can strongly affect your grade.  But, if you have to take a few points off of your grade rather than bombing then entire assignment, that may be a sacrifice you must make.

Explain the Situation to the Professor

I know that no one wants to be a tattletale, but if you are having that much trouble with a member of your group and everyone in the group has done everything that they could, sometimes you have to go to your last resort.  There has been only one time that I have had to do it, but the professor seemed to already know what was going on.  The professor knew that the one group member had not been meeting during all of our planning meetings, and he was very aware that the group member was not researching his piece of the project.  Professors are often significantly more perceptive than we give them credit for.

The One Who is the "Know-It-All"

Your first instinct, in this case, may be to confront the troublemaker of the group.  That is not the best choice.  If a group member is starting out hard-headed, there is no reason to believe that they won't continue to be.  The best thing to do is to make strong suggestions, and take things in the direction that you believe will produce the best product possible.

Avoid the Screaming Match at All Costs

Lawyer personalities--we are all Type A.  This means that we do not always keep our cool, but in this case, it is imperative.  No one likes the person who overreacts or explodes.  It makes everyone fearful of your future reactions to their ideas and input.

Screaming matches also do not make one appear very professional, but rather immature.  This is something that people will remember well into their professional careers--when they are either facing you in the courtroom or sitting across from you in the conference room during negotiations.  The impression that you leave with people now is the impression that they will have for the rest of time.

No One Can Actually Know It All

There is no such thing as someone who is omnipotent.  No single person can actually know every piece of knowledge that is possible to know.  When someone makes a mistake, do not be quick and unsympathetic.  It could be you that has cases and facts mixed up, and you do not need someone to turn around and meanly point it out to you.

When the "Know-It-All" comes down off of his or her pedestal, there is no need to make it a larger deal than it is.  After he or she admits that he or she made a mistake, let it go.  Everyone will respect you more for that than pointing out the fact that you are right and rubbing it in.  Be a team player and support the others.  Do not let others define you.

There is No Such Thing As Perfect

Even if you have the exact group that you want, nothing will be perfect.  Friends will make mistakes.  People who you thought you could trust will let you down, and life will give you your fair share of speed bumps.  No matter what, keep your head held high, a strong sense of dignity, and your composure.

Believe me, I have been there.