The How-To Guide on Working with People You Dislike

It has happened to all of us--we have been stuck in a group with that ONE person that makes us so angry we could yell.  Somehow, we have all survived those experiences with varying levels of injury.  As anyone who works in a professional setting will tell you, you will always have to work with someone that you cannot stand.  Here are a few pointers that I have found useful to myself when I am put in these situations.

The One Who Won't Pull His/Her Weight

I think I find this situation the worst.  I am always of the opinion that "if you are not going to try, then why are you even here?"  This kind of person is dead weight on the team--you can ask him/her to fulfill a task, but there is no guarantee that it will be completed or completed to an acceptable level.

Fill the Void Yourself

I know this is not a solution that anyone wants to hear, but it is the honest truth.  If you have a dead-weight, then it is still your team's responsibility to get all elements together for the project.  Sometimes, this means that you have to bite the bullet yourself and do the part that the dead-weight will not do.

There is one bonus to this outcome.  (Hard to believe, I know.)  Your professor/boss will be able to detect the dead-weight in the group very quickly.  The person who did not complete their part is easily detectable.  If it is a written paper, a professor will be able to read it and know that it is all in one voice.  Presentations are a chance for the biggest red flags to pop up.  If there are gaps in a person's knowledge, it is going to be blatant when someone is standing in front of the class with very few things to say.

Let the Gaps Stay Present

Sometimes you are under too much stress to do anything than your initially assigned part.  In these cases, you have to let the chips fall where they may.  Sometimes one must "suck it up" and let it just happen.  If the parts were assigned by your professor, he or she will know exactly who did and did not fulfill the necessary obligations to fulfill the project's specifications.

This is not my first suggestion, especially if the parts were not specifically assigned to each person.  The professor may think that you or your group forgot an essential part of the assignment.  This can strongly affect your grade.  But, if you have to take a few points off of your grade rather than bombing then entire assignment, that may be a sacrifice you must make.

Explain the Situation to the Professor

I know that no one wants to be a tattletale, but if you are having that much trouble with a member of your group and everyone in the group has done everything that they could, sometimes you have to go to your last resort.  There has been only one time that I have had to do it, but the professor seemed to already know what was going on.  The professor knew that the one group member had not been meeting during all of our planning meetings, and he was very aware that the group member was not researching his piece of the project.  Professors are often significantly more perceptive than we give them credit for.

The One Who is the "Know-It-All"

Your first instinct, in this case, may be to confront the troublemaker of the group.  That is not the best choice.  If a group member is starting out hard-headed, there is no reason to believe that they won't continue to be.  The best thing to do is to make strong suggestions, and take things in the direction that you believe will produce the best product possible.

Avoid the Screaming Match at All Costs

Lawyer personalities--we are all Type A.  This means that we do not always keep our cool, but in this case, it is imperative.  No one likes the person who overreacts or explodes.  It makes everyone fearful of your future reactions to their ideas and input.

Screaming matches also do not make one appear very professional, but rather immature.  This is something that people will remember well into their professional careers--when they are either facing you in the courtroom or sitting across from you in the conference room during negotiations.  The impression that you leave with people now is the impression that they will have for the rest of time.

No One Can Actually Know It All

There is no such thing as someone who is omnipotent.  No single person can actually know every piece of knowledge that is possible to know.  When someone makes a mistake, do not be quick and unsympathetic.  It could be you that has cases and facts mixed up, and you do not need someone to turn around and meanly point it out to you.

When the "Know-It-All" comes down off of his or her pedestal, there is no need to make it a larger deal than it is.  After he or she admits that he or she made a mistake, let it go.  Everyone will respect you more for that than pointing out the fact that you are right and rubbing it in.  Be a team player and support the others.  Do not let others define you.

There is No Such Thing As Perfect

Even if you have the exact group that you want, nothing will be perfect.  Friends will make mistakes.  People who you thought you could trust will let you down, and life will give you your fair share of speed bumps.  No matter what, keep your head held high, a strong sense of dignity, and your composure.

Believe me, I have been there.

Create-Your-Own Hypos

Sometimes, if you can't find a question to practice a topic that you are struggling with, the best thing to do is write your own questions.  I was having trouble with some torts topics so I created my own using my family as an example.

The Question

L and M were preparing for D’s birthday.  Because he “forgot” to text them back regarding what he wanted for his birthday gift, they decided to play a prank instead.  Being the crafty twins that they were, they put their heads together and tried to think of a joke for the record books.  Suddenly, they knew that they had settled on the perfect one.

L and M put a rose-haired tarantula in a box and wrapped it.  When they went home for fall break, they dropped the inconspicuous box (wrapped perfectly in lime green paper) off with their unsuspecting mother.  L and M requested that their mother bring D his birthday gift with her to Houston during her next visit.  She excitedly agreed and packed it in her carry-on.

The next day, Mom drove to the airport, still unaware of the contents of the lime green gift.  She dropped her luggage off at the Delta counter and then waited in the TSA pre-check line with her carry-on bag.  She sent her carry-on through the x-ray machine, and in their diligent search for shampoo and garlic spread, TSA did not detect the rose-haired tarantula.  M and L’s plan was working out perfectly.  Mom boarded the plane and placed her carry-on under the seat in front of her and followed all of the instructions from the flight crew.  She relaxed once the plane was in the air, and she pushed play on her playlist full of AC/DC and Queen.

Once Mom deplaned at the Houston-Hobby airport and retrieved her luggage from the carousel, she took an Uber to D’s apartment.  When she arrived at his door, she pulled L and M’s present out of her carry-on and knocked on the door.  D excitedly opened the door and greeted his mother, looking forward to opening the gift from his stupendous sisters.

D sat down on his couch and placed the exquisitely wrapped gift in his lap.  He read the card stating that it was from L and M.  He quickly ripped off the lime green wrapping paper revealing the box inside.  He smiled as he lifted the lid and then immediately paled.  In horror, he shoved the box off his lap.  The tarantula, in a panic, used its defense mechanism and shot one of its hairs towards D.  The hair embedded itself in D’s hand and he fainted onto the couch.  When he came-to, Mom had caught the spider in a jar and noticed D’s injury.  She promptly drove him to the hospital.

The doctors told D that his injury was infected, and he would have to miss a few days of his rotations because of the swelling in his hand.  D stayed in the hospital for three days until he was fully recovered, and then returned to rotations.  This time, he replied to his sisters’ texts in an angry fashion and told him that he was going to file claims against them.

1. What tort claims can D file against L and M?  Explain.
2. What tort claims can D file against Mom?  Explain.

The Challenge

Now that you've seen an example, I dare you to try this one or to write your own.  Bring on the back-firing sibling pranks.

Have a great laugh,